Trump’s 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
A Democratic House majority

On the second day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the third day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the fourth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the fifth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the sixth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the seventh day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the eighth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Eight Mueller subpoenas
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the ninth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Nine critical pundits
Eight Mueller subpoenas
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the tenth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Ten aides a-lying
Nine critical pundits
Eight Mueller subpoenas
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the eleventh day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Eleven reporters reporting
Ten aides a-lying
Nine critical pundits
Eight Mueller subpoenas
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

On the twelfth day of Christmas Trump found beneath his tree
Twelve Putin thank-you notes
Eleven reporters reporting
Ten aides a-lying
Nine critical pundits
Eight Mueller subpoenas
Seven Rats a-singing
Six Russian bots
Five mean tweets
Four Cabinet scandals
Three resigning generals
Two ex-Chiefs of Staff and
A Democratic House majority

But on Christmas morning Trump awoke to find that all his troubles were gone. He had shut down the government and he was King for a day!