Twas the night before Christmas when all through the White House
Not an aide was stirring, not even Jared.
Don Jr. and Eric hung their stockings with care
In hopes that they’d soon find a pardon in there.
Ivanka tossed sleepless and scared in her bed
While visions of prison flashed through her head.
Melania in her kerchief and Trump in his Crown
Angrily tweeted and paced up and down.
When out in the Rose Garden the sycophants gathered
“You won by a landslide, Heil Donny!” they blathered.
“Wait till you see what’s inside Santa’s sleigh,
The thousands of votes Sleepy Joe stole away!”
Trump rushed to his window and threw up the sash,
The conspiracy was true he knew in a flash.
The election was stolen, the Crown his by right,
He’d be President for Life by the end of the night!
When what to his wondering eye did appear
But the greatest sleigh ever and the biggest reindeer.
But who was the driver? It wasn’t St. Nick,
It was Vladimir Putin up to his final trick.
He whistled and shouted and called out Trump’s scam.
“Now Bannon! now Spicer! now Pence and Kellyanne!
On Guiliani! on Omarosa! on Sessions and Barr!
You’ve backed a loser, the biggest loser by far.
Then Putin rose up like a fierce Russian bear,
Trump trembled and whimpered and begged him be fair.
But laughing and winking Putin drove out of view
Ere I heard him exclaim “Don’t you know? I am Q”.